Declaration of Bean-Dependence / Constitution of Overprotective Parents-to-be

Happy Birthday America! 

We hope you had a great day, got tons of Happy Bday posts on your Facebook timeline, 

and finished the day feeling full of cake and ice cream! 

In the McGee house we celebrated in a low-key manner.  We slept in, Denny golfed and I spent a little time at the neighbor's pool (nothing shows patriotism quite like watching your pasty skin go from white to red -- if only I had a blue tattoo and I'd be all set!).

Then we ventured down to the Lancaster Festival for some incredibly healthy dinner options.  An elephant ear is a pregnancy super food right? 

But as we enjoyed a great night, we couldn't help but notice the clothing, or lack thereof, that some of the young girls at the festival were wearing.  Turns out that finding out the cost of daycare is NOT the scariest thing for soon-to-be parents...  the scariest thing for a parents-to-be of a daughter is to see tweens showing more skin than Madonna in the 80's.  Yikes, get out the shotgun!! 

So rather than focus much more on fireworks and picnics, I'm switching gears with this post and paying homage to our forefather's Declaration of Independence with a twist...  the Declaration of Bean-dependence.  Yes, this is for you Beanette.  We are sure you will be a great kid and you will always exhibit excellent taste when it comes to choosing your clothes.  But if you get the temptation to buy too-short shorts or wear a shirt that is less than wholesome, you can refer to this friendly declaration, and then recall that if you don't follow these simple rules, we will revoke any future Independence. 

So without further adieu:

The Declaration of Bean-dependence

Preamble
Dear Bean, Your father and I hold these truths to be self-evident, that not all fashion is created equal, that clothes are endowed to you by their Creator (aka your parents) with certain alienable Rights, that among these requirements are full coverage of your back, mid-section and the pursuit of coverage of your legs (all the way to your ankles). 

Indictment
The history of some of the girls in our current culture is a history of repeated fashion offenses and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny and complete fear of your father and me. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world (all of which you will not be permitted to wear)

• Shorts in which exhibit butt cheekage
• Shorts in which the pockets hang out more than 6 inches from the bottom of the shorts
• Shirts that resemble cobwebs in the back
• Shirts that have slits, holes, or slots
• Shirts that are see-through
• Shirts or shorts that cause boys to look at you in any way before you turn 32

Conclusion
We, therefore, the Representatives of you, the Beanette (our sweet baby girl), do, in the Name, and by Authority of the our attempt at being good parents, solemnly publish and declare that we hope you always make good judgements.

We love you so much already, and although you may roll your eyes at us and consider us overprotective, crazy and ridiculous we hope you know it is for good reason. 


Signatures
Denny McGee
Erin McGee
Seymour Turtlenecks
Abraham Fullyclothed
Ben Dover NeverInASkirt