Let's get political

I'm not the first one to jump into a heated political debate; in fact, I'm probably the last one to do so.  And although I'm a big advocate for voting, I typically keep my political opinions to myself.

However, after spending hours over the last couple days doing laundry and (attempting to) match socks, I'd like to present a new political platform.  Candidates, listen up!

On top of my dryer sits a growing pile of lonely, single socks.  Some have been in this dating pool for months, while others just joined it tonight.  The top of my Maytag looks like an episode of MTV's 90's show, Singled Out, minus Jenny McCarthy.  All types of socks, just trying to find a partner in life (or a least a partner to get them through to the tumble in the dryer). 

Therefore, my idea is simple.  Our government should implement a policy in which all sock-makers must abide by a policy for universal white socks.  No gray toe sections, no fuzzy balls on the back, no black lines across the toe seam... just pure white unisex socks.  Should citizens elect to wear seasonal of non-white socks, that option would still exist but all solid color socks must abide by strict universal regulations.

Think I'm crazy??  Just think of how easy your life would be... husbands might actually be able to participate in sock folding.  Just think of the time savings... on average I would estimate that I spend about 55 minutes per week trying to find partners and fold socks.  With the No Sock Left Behind policy, the 55-minute sock folding frenzy could easily be reduced to 15 minutes per week.  That's an extra 2,080 free minutes per year (aka 34 hours!!).  Over the course of a lifetime, the average female could save up to 2,357 hours or 98 days!! 

I sure don't want to take the focus on Capitol Hill away from finding more jobs for our stagnant economy or from investigating how the members of our Secret Service think that they are Richard Gere in Pretty Woman... but come on, when was the last time Uncle Sam gave you back 98 days of your life without raising your taxes?!?  This is an issue that I would be glad to check Yes!!

Uncle Sam wants YOU to have universal Socks!